


Babysitting Pearl

by NelindeA



Series: Fragments [8]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Absolute fluff, Dan and Phil babysitting, Gen, This is the most wholesome thing I have ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 19:42:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17752253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NelindeA/pseuds/NelindeA
Summary: Louise calls up Dan and Phil and needs them to babysit her daughter Pearl.





	Babysitting Pearl

**Author's Note:**

> In the midst of all these stories about angst and depression and crises and anxiety, here is one just nice fic. Honestly, I really struggle with writing just nice fluff, but I'm kinda proud of this one?
> 
> Also, up to now in this series everything's been from Phil's point of view, other than that one chapter in the hospital story. But now you can look forward to seeing a couple from Dan's POV.

“Oh, come on, Dan, you’ll have fun!”

Dan’s hand was sweating under the phone so he switched it to his other hand. “Louise, I’m literally the last person you should ask to watch her.”

“I’m not just asking you, I’m asking both of you.” 

“But I know you don’t really want me too,” Dan said. “Phil’s the more responsible one; I know you really want him to do it.”

“I’m asking both of you!” Louise repeated. “If I’d just wanted one of you, I’d have asked that one to come round, but no, I’m bringing Pearl to you. Please?”

“I don’t know how to take care of a freaking baby!” 

There was a sigh on the other end. “Dan. I told you. Darcy’s play is like an hour long, and then Liam and I promised we’d take her and her friend for ice cream, which will only probably be like another hour. I don’t want to take Pearl and have to worry about screaming during the play!”

“Yeah I get that, but I don’t want to have to worry about her screaming here either!”

“All you’ve got to do is keep her entertained. It’s such a short amount of time that you won’t have to feed her, and you probably won’t even have to change her, and she may just sleep the entire time.”

Dan knew he’d say yes the second she’d first asked him, but he wanted to complain enough so that Louise knew what she was getting into. “Fine, all right,” he said. “But you should know I haven’t babysat since I was like fifteen.”

“But you have had experience,” she pointed out. “Thank you, Dan! I’m on my way now.”

“Wait—now?” 

“Yeaaaah I may be about five minutes away because I presumed you’d say yes.” 

“Oh, you so owe me,” he said. “Okay, I’ll see you then.” 

He hung up, and Phil burst into the room. “Are you kidding, Dan? We’re gonna kill that baby, you know we will!”

“How long were you listening?” 

“Don’t make me hold her,” Phil said. “Because I will drop her. I only escaped last time because I was sitting down.” 

“Well, we just have to be careful is all.” 

“Careful is not my strong point,” Phil protested. “Maybe I’ll just go out and let you take care of her.” 

“No!” Dan said quickly. “No, Phil, I need you to do this with me.”

“Why? We both know I’ll do something stupid and try to film her and hold her and walk down the stairs at the same time or something.”

“I’ll make sure you don’t do that. But you…I think you’ll have a better grip on what to do if I mess it—I mean, if something goes wrong.” 

Phil stopped panicking for a second to stare at him. “You’re worried about messing this up?”

Dan shifted. “Maybe.” 

“Well you won’t, because you’ve got loads of common sense and you know how to just focus on one thing at a time, so you’re not gonna kill her.” 

“Yeah, but I don’t know what you even do with a baby.” 

“You don’t need to,” Phil said bitterly. “Babies love you anyway. She’ll probably cry every time she sees my face, like every single other baby I’ve ever met.” 

Dan looked at him sympathetically. “See? This is why we both need to do this. Because you think she won’t like you and I think I won’t do anything besides stare at her. Even though that’s kind of ridiculous, because we have met her and held her and it went well enough.”

“I guess,” Phil said. “She didn’t die, anyway.”

“Exactly,” Dan said, turning as he heard their doorbell ring. “Oh, joy.”

Phil giggled, and tentatively followed Dan as they went to let Louise in. 

But she didn’t come in. She merely handed Pearl off to Dan and then slung a bag off her shoulder and handed it to Phil. “I can’t come in, boys, I’m already late.”

Phil blinked. “What were you going to do if we hadn’t said yes?”

“Oh!” she just laughed. “I knew you wouldn’t deny me like that. See you around nine, guys, thank you so much!” 

And then she was gone, and Dan and Phil were left with a child that seemed to be just as confused and disoriented as they were.

But she didn’t cry, which was something, so Dan walked into the lounge and set her down on the sofa.

“No, put her on the floor, she could fall!” Phil almost screeched, and Dan hastily relocated her to the floor. 

And then they just stood there and watched her, and she looked up at them, sucking her hand, and Dan began to feel a twisting in his stomach, because this had been just what he was afraid of. She would definitely start crying eventually.

Phil then looked down at the bag he was holding and unzipped it. Inside was an assortment of toys, so he pulled out a stuffed giraffe and held it out to her. She didn’t look at it, but just kept staring up at him, with a slightly open mouth and eyes that seemed to get larger by the second. 

“I apologize for my face,” Phil said. “But I’m nice, I promise.”

Dan giggled softly, and Phil sat down and pulled another toy out. “Ooh, look, a lion! This is my favorite animal, you know.”

Pearl looked at the lion, but didn’t take it. Phil hestitated, and then started tickling her chin with it, and Pearl’s face broke into a big, goofy smile. 

“Aah, look at that!” Phil smiled, looking up at Dan. “She doesn’t hate me!” 

“Punch me in the freaking face, that was adorable,” Dan said, sitting on the floor next to him. “Do it again.”

And Phil did, and eventually Pearl laughed and then grabbed the lion and began hitting it on the ground. 

“Woah, animal abuse,” Phil said. 

“Oh, like your lion hasn’t been through worse,” Dan said. 

“That’s very true,” Phil said, reaching into the bag again. “Okay, do you think Louise was trolling you or do you think it’s just a coincidence that there’s a llama in here?”

Dan grabbed the bag and looked into it, as Phil laughed. Dan gave one scream and then pulled out the llama and threw it across the room.

“Okay, that definitely was animal abuse,” Phil said. 

Pearl looked over at the llama, and then picked up the lion and tried to throw it as well. 

“Oh, no, Dan, look what you’ve done,” Phil said.

Dan sighed. “Yep. I mean I knew I was a bad example to millions, but this is probably the youngest person I’ve been a bad role model too.” 

“Well, just show her something nice to make up for it,” Phil said. He reached in and pulled out a small foam ball. “Here, play this with her.” 

Dan took it and rolled it towards her, but it hit the lion halfway there and Phil had to nudge it the rest of the way. Pearl picked it up and threw it back, and it actually made it to Dan’s sock. 

Phil laughed. “Oh my gosh, she’s literally better at sports than you!”

“Okay, I’m gonna throw you out in the street if you continue to show me up,” Dan said to the baby. “Also Phil, if you’ll notice, she still threw it.”

“Well, maybe she doesn’t know how to roll it yet,” Phil said. “Keep trying.”

Dan rolled the ball to her several more times, and a lot of the time she just ignored it, or tried to throw it, but finally she did put her hand on it and try to shove it back. 

“Hey hey, there you go!” Phil grinned. “You did something good! This is a pivotal moment in her history, and we were here for it!” 

Dan knew that was stupid, but for some reason he felt a warmth in his heart at the thought of it, and he and Pearl continued playing with the ball until Pearl seemingly got tired of it and tried to crawl away. 

Dan, and probably Phil, had a momentary panic attack at the thought that she had the power to crawl like a little machine all over the place, but she seemed to be in the very early stages of crawling, and was moving very slowly. Still, Phil picked her up and sat on the couch with her. 

“What else is in the bag?” he asked. 

Dan looked inside. “Bottles and nappies, even though Louise specifically said we wouldn’t have to use either of those things.”

“Yeah, but what kind of mother would she be if she left us without those things?” 

“True.” Dan began digging through the rest of the contents. “There’s a book in here, you feel like reading to her?” 

“Not with you listening!”

“What? Why?” Dan laughed. “It’ll be funny.”

“That’s exactly why. And I don’t need a creepshot of me doing it to appear on the Internet.”

“It won’t, I promise. And it’s a short one, it’s 'Goodnight Moon.'"

“That’s a bedtime story, are we putting her to bed?” 

“Phil, how she could she possibly know what kind of story it is?” 

“If she can’t understand it, why do I have to read it to her?” 

“I don’t know, it helps develop babies’ minds I think.”

Phil raised his eyebrows. “Well, look who knows so much.”

“Just read the bloody book, Phil.”

“Hey,” Phil chided. “I only will if you stop swearing in front of her.” 

“I haven’t said anything else inappropriate, have I?” 

“There’s still time.” Phil opened the book and began reading it, but he shot embarrassed glances at Dan the entire way through, as Dan sat quietly snickering behind his hand. Pearl didn’t seem to be listening, as she either stared up at Phil, or tried to escape his arms, or played with the lion that she seemed to be very fond of. But Phil stuck through to the end, and then threw the book at Dan. “I don’t know why you think this is so funny.”

“I don’t, I promise,” Dan said, gasping. “I was just making sure you knew how to do it in case you ever have kids of your own.”

“Right, I’m sure that was the reason,” Phil said. They both fell silent, watching her, but when Pearl started squirming again to be free of Phil’s arms, and he continued preventing her from falling off the sofa, she started crying.

Phil gave a yelp, immediately placing her on the floor and stepping back. “Okay, I’ve hit my limit, you can take care of it from here.”

Dan laughed softly, but he stood up, lifted the baby and then began quietly shushing her. Phil watched in fascination for a moment, but then Dan tilted his head towards the kitchen. “All right, I was about to go start making dinner, but since you dumped her on me you can go do it.”

Phil complied, and Dan began pacing the lounge, shushing her until long after she’d quieted down. Once he realized this he sat down on the sofa, and she dropped her lion. He picked it up and tried handing it to her, but when she didn’t take it he placed it on her lap and pulled out his phone. 

When Phil eventually emerged from the kitchen, he was greeted with the sight of Pearl asleep on Dan’s shoulder, and Dan using his free arm to play around on his phone.   
“Wow,” Phil said. “Look at you, the baby whisperer.” 

Dan looked up, then at Phil. “Babies sleep, Phil, that had nothing to do with me.” 

“Of course it did. It happens with dogs, and apparently it happens with babies, too, you warm-blooded freak.”

“All humans are warm-blooded.”

“Yeah, but you are more than usual.”

Dan laughed. “Is there food?”

“Yep.”

“Cool.” Dan looked down at Pearl again. “The only problem is I don’t know where to go from here.”

“Um.” Phil searched through the bag until he found a mat. He spread it out and gestured to it, and Dan placed her down on top of it. 

“We’d better remember not to step on her.” Dan remarked.

“Oh gosh, that would be so bad. Do babies need blankets?”

“I have no idea.”

They both stood there for a second, and then Phil pulled a blanket out of the bag. “I mean there’s one here, so…”

“Yeah, just put it on her.”

“Okay.” Phil placed the blanket around her and then headed into the kitchen with Dan. They both kept their ears strained for sounds of her waking up, but eventually let their voices get louder as they stopped listening. 

She was still asleep once they’d finished, and Dan checked his phone again. “We should start putting all the things away, yeah?”

“Probably, I don’t want to slip on a stray llama at three in the morning.”

Dan giggled. “Poor Louise, she probably can’t walk around her own house without turning on every light anymore.” 

Phil giggled as well. “You’d have to do that too, if you had kids.”

“Hmm, I don’t know if that’s worth it.” 

“Well,” Phil said. “I still think you’d have an easier time of it than I would. Having children, I mean. Because babies love you.”

“Yeah, babies, but I think you’d be way better at dealing with toddlers and teenagers.” 

Pearl did wake up at the sound of the doorbell ringing, and Phil went to answer it as Dan picked her up and held her again. He actually really loved holding her. He couldn’t explain why, but he’d always loved holding babies. He supposed it was because they made him feel unconditionally important and needed. 

Louise and Darcy walked into the lounge. “There’s my baby!” Louise cried, holding her arms out.

“Hi, Darcy,” Dan said. 

“Hi,” she said, grinning up at him. 

“How was your play?” he asked.

“Good.”

“I asked her if she was the best one in it,” Phil said. “She said yes.” 

“Of course you were,” Dan said, winking at Darcy. “I don’t even know why he had to ask.”

“I’m sorry we were late,” Louise said. “We had to take her friend home, which I forgot to factor in to the whole two hours thing.”

“That’s okay,” Dan said, picking up her bag and handing it to her.

“Yeah, we had fun,” Phil said. 

Louise laughed. “I told you so.”

“Yeah,” Dan gave Pearl one last look. “Hit us up anytime, we’d love to watch her again. Wouldn’t we, Phil?”

“Yes.” Phil nodded firmly. “We would absolutely love to.”


End file.
